Too much to ask?

Solitude.

It can be both a bless and a curse.

At times when I'm at my wits end, loneliness tends to bite me when I least expected.

Things that i used to look forward to is nothing but a plain bore.

The stuffs around my room that i used to adore, stand profoundly on the shelves, mocking me.

Interesting things on you tube drive me sick.

At times like that, there's nothing more that i longed for than a simple innocent company.

Or even a slap- from a hand that loves me.

I longed for a deeper, self-soothing conversation over a cup of coffee from a recently-boiled kettle.

I longed for multiple series of a group laugh that doesn't involve other people's affair.

I longed for an acute comfort like a shot of strong opioid to an agonizing pain.

You see, I'm a very greedy and ungrateful person.

I get to the place I've been dreaming of every so often but all I want, is more.

I have to admit, it takes time for me to break that glossy superficiality to get me to be part of that deeper conversation.

Very few had a patient linger around, to wait.

Solitude. It can be both a bless and a curse.

Perhaps, this solitude unintentionally makes me value the right ones when they come along. However rarely.

Perhaps, it's another way to learn gratitude-to recognize what I have and take it as it is.

Perhaps, God's have a bunch of love waiting for me back home,He just decided I need it less now.

Perhaps, it's the right time to be alone and look for happiness within, instead of being surrounded but being forever and helplessly at lost.

Yes,

Solitude.

It can be both a bless and a curse.