Saturday, 24 March 2012

Lets grow up a little.

at 09:44 0 comments

If i were to describe this particular fraction of my life in medical school in a small town in the middle of Europe (mostly unknown to my people and patient or even doctors in Malaysia) in a word, without hesitation, it's solitude.

If you ever got the chance to visit here, you would know instantly what i meant. The environment is so settled, fresh oxygen supply on daily basis, away from the constant need to rush-the-pace-or-else-you'll-get-pushed-aside kind of morning.

Coming from a small town, (heck, the smallest!) I on the other hand, have no trouble fitting in. Being here all these while meaning all that I'm familiar with was left at home. Family, my significant other, my friends, all now a permanent residents that reside in my laptop. Many many nights I longed for warmth and comfort of those miles away. How different things will turn out if I would be somewhere nearby.

Atop of all these, I happen to be someone very picky about the company i keep. That left me not many options, sometimes, i opt to be left out rather than being surrounded but not being able to laugh along and being accused as the spoiler of the environment.

Maybe because I couldn't bring myself to simply laugh along or talk about things that involve other people's privacy matter for the sake of our own amusement. All the constant comparison of this and that.

Maybe because of the glossy superficiality and the quick judgmental comments makes me wonder how will they treat you, should they know you well enough, or even if they know you at all.

Worst, if in the end you find out your most deepest insecurities becomes the next subject of public discussion and scrutiny.

I guess this high school habits wont be going anywhere anytime soon but the difference now, we can always opt out and I don't know, maybe, just maybe, grow up a little.

Till then!


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