getting-to-know-me-part-2

You see me with my food, how i cook, how i eat. Amateur-ish really. And this is not a humble-ness expression, but a mere truth I'd love to improve.

Next thing I'd love to share is also about taste. But my taste in living and architecture. I have no experience what so ever about architecture or architecture design to that point, but for reasons I couldn't grasp, I'd love to drown myself in their very basic philosophy and actual patterns of what makes a great architecture great.

A few years spent abroad has helped to open my eyes to the beauty which otherwise seems so foreign to me. Then it occurs to me, a grand building that stands alone doesn't gonna make it any great, just like a cloud missing its evaporated water, but rather a complete blend of whole mixture of it's surrounded nature is what brings it to its ideal. And of course the building should brings the best out of people that soon to reside in it. It should be able to take care of the people and nurture them so that the experience of the design itself can make them feel at their best and thus, live a better life.

It's a bit simplistic, really.

But why do you think people spend a fortune to stay in an expensive holiday villa if not because of its elegant sophisticated design and the atmosphere that can administer instant comfort the moment you set your step in it.

No, it need not to be the over-expensive furniture or Egyptian-silk bed-linen that I want to point out here, but, how different would our life might be if we can study the philosophy and the pattern behind it and create a healthy living of our own, on a daily basis.

Somehow it dawned upon me that the warmth of the designs and honesty of its culture is what makes it's so startled.

We have plenty of rooms to talk more on this, i hope.

Maybe a little later, when i no longer have surgery credit test like the one i'm having tomorrow.

Till then.

Random chat.

[9:01:03 PM] white_tulip: Bebe, I found this from Grey's anatomy. I think its nice.

"For a kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something. You want it to be with someone you can't get out of your head, so that when your lips finally touch you feel it everywhere. A kiss so hot and so deep you never want to come up for air. You can't cheat your first kiss. Trust me, you don't want to. Cause when you find that right person for a first kiss, it's everything.”

haha. well-said right?

[9:06:13 PM] FiLiPa: Yeah, funny how such heavy weight can make you feel so light... Funny how something so pure can make you a sinner.

Art is not what you see, but what you make others see.

You know when they say that everybody; each and everyone of us, have the good and the not-so-good-side.

Well, the good side of me, the better part of me always takes place when i'm with you. I know people always use that line- 'owh, time suke mmg la sume baik' (when you're in love, you see nothing wrong with the person) , but somehow i beg to differ. I behave, I become a better me, a better daughter, a better friend, a better sister, a better doctor, not because I want you to fall for that, or love me for that only or hide my imperfection from your eyes.

Why do I want to be a better me when you're around?

I haven't had the faintest idea. But all that is clear and crystal, is I want to become someone you deserve. Someone who's heart as pure and sincere as yours. Maybe because most of the time my heart and mind are buzy clouded with greed, fear, hatred and anger that only when I'm with you those things manage to shut up and give way to a more simplistic, pure and innocent word call LOVE.

Well then again, what do I know. But if being with you makes me a better me, then I want to be with you forever. If you're the way God speaks to me, then I'll try to pay a closer attention to hear a little deeper.

Because right now, I had stumbled upon a Great lesson to know who I am a little better, from a blink of sparkle, deep through your eyes.

You're my piece of art.

And now tell me, how can I thank you enough?

A- once - admission essaY.

Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved. Medicine is my choice, my destiny, my goal to be accomplished.

I know the journey is never going to be easy. Many times I have been reminded of the sacrifices to be made upon entering medical school. Forgoing the exciting life as a teen and giving up social enjoyment, I was told, was not an easy task. Somehow, I never fail to come up with the same reason. Picturing the life-changing moments and the difficulties that I could do better, knowing that I made a difference, have brought me this far. True, this reality had made me aware that medicine is a multi-faceted profession with a hectic schedule but seeing endurance in every personnel in the medical field observed from my attachments at the hospital, had taught me the meaning of perseverance and determination, all in the name of passion. And I dream to be part of it.

Throughout the days I had spent in the hospital, my love for medicine grew. What I saw had impressed upon me the intense yet fulfilling nature of work in medicine. However, what humbled me during my attachments was knowledge about medicine alone, is not enough to make a good doctor. Good communication skills, which bud with a smile and bloom into good rapport with patients are vital not only to make patients feel confident in fighting their illnesses, but also to tackle the very source of their problems.

I have come to realize that the beauty of medicine is not about fighting death, for death never waits, but the relationship that I’m about to implore with the patients entrusting me to help ease if not alleviate, their pain with all the commitment, compassion, candor and common sense that I can offer. I view medicine as a way to bond science with my compassionate nature. Medicine offers the opportunity to live a fulfilling, rewarding life dedicated to helping others in need, with hope to at least make other people realize the value of life after coming out of the dark world of pain. This thorough understanding will make me an asset to my community; a meaningful part of society; dignified for the right reasons.

bear wit me.

my choc potty pot
chicken poT piE!
caramel-croissant-pudding

lemonchicken wit lemon sauce.

my rendang n nsk impit

monday morning big fat breakfast.

mummy's-ayam-percik-wannabe

noodlez-toodlez

so, hungry yet?

(re)Read.

Jotting is a very powerful tool.

Later this evening i go through my posts in blogs. There are some random moments that i had longed forgotten that just come flashing back to me. It does took me to that very moment that I was, tapping down the letters on the keyboard, carefully picking up right words to speak the language of heart, we call feelings. Only then i realize how important it is to keep jotting down, because it's true, it's the moment that you remember. However moving or cold.

I just got back from a movie, Saw, in 3d. Halloween spirit haunted the cinema too. But really, there couldn't have been a better timing. It wasn't about the lessons of the psychopathic genius that force me to write at this very moment. I want to remember tonight, I want to remember that whether or not you let them, friends help.

I used to be very picky about who i choose to be friend with. I end up having a very-very close friends but not many of them. Which is now taken away from me by a different series of unscripted events that separate us (literally) by the ocean wide.

I hold on to the memories so dearly, that i forget to give a chance for a new one to bloom.

I was once told that every one that cross your way, crossed them for a reason. Or two. With the money crisis that I've been through, I was blessed to see some pure-hearted heart that never tired of making sure that i had enough. Constantly offering me with cereal nut bar during breaks, insisting that we should go out treating me with lunch right after class knowing that the sound of my stomach couldn't bear waiting another hour of cooking. Paying for my ticket for a movie just to drag me out from my room. A prosperous act of kindness that makes my heart sinks.

Oh, how Prosperous God is.

Dried.

It is funny sometimes that you have so many feelings, but you can't even utter a word.

At times, you feel like screaming but you know it won't be heard.

42 more days.

hold on, oh, hold on..

With every leaf falls..

It's autumn again.

Somehow, autumn colour blends with the local architecture here in europe.

nostalgic almost. The bench by the trees. ground covered with every leaf that falls. It's just pulls your heart down at times, looking at the empty lonely bench. It makes me think how amazing it is if i could just sit there with him in silence. Just as i was taking pics with my-ever-so-patient group mate, my eyes was pinned to an old couple on one of those bench, by the old oak tree, with ground covered with every leaf that falls. Somewhere between the gloomy sky and bald branches, i found the serenity in the scene .

I guess up till the end of our life, that's all we all longing for. We ask ourselves from time to time. How old our love could be? Will it ever stand the test of time? Will we ever truly get there?But if i have to guess, it's worth a try. It's worth giving out all your best-est. It pays up all the effort and hassle you put yourself into, just to spend another a day with him. Because those are the littlest things that matters, in the end. The very heart and soul you put in to make it works, just for another day..

Yes, it is scary come to think about it. A forbidden thought. We were brought up in the society which try to avoid these questions. Or else we get scared. Heart gets scared so easily because it is the one which suffers the most if anything goes wrong. It's true. But if we don't ask, if we run, how on earth can we find the answer and get resolved and settled once and for all?

Find the answer. What makes it all worth it. You'd be surprise to find out the answer could be as simple as, it's just because a thought of him, i find a rare sort of calmness, amid the storms of my daily life.

chronic symptom of food obsession part 2.

yup, yummy2..

yeah2, i love food pics.

it's good for long term memory.

u knw, later, when im gazing at my fridge not knwing what to cook.

can olways come back to these n rmmbr, i once a well-cook.