No pun intended.

I started having twitter few months back, and all due to my boyfriend who said it would be kind of cool to have me there as well (or did he?). Along getting my internet phone activated, i agreed and open up one. So there, beside this little window for updates, i got myself a little bird to do the job getting info from the rest of the world. Well at least in my little world.

You probably get here through my twitter as well, as i put the link there. I'm not sure why myself, maybe i thought 140 character is not enough to do my bubbly extrovert-ness a justice. *wink

Like any other social media, the my love-hate relationship is strictly unavoidable. 

I'd rather say it serves me well, at times. You know especially early in the morning while getting your coffee to go or in bus/tram ride to hospital, a quick update wouldn't hurt. It also makes me look busy and important avoiding any real social good-morning greetings. Or if you bore me with the details. What could be a more bigger turn-off than pretending to listen while simultaneously finding an opportunity pause for a quick glance at the phone.

I did too, follow some advice, quotes, news, and of course friends here, as well as back home. Updates, both others and mine, had somehow affect me differently.

Don't get me wrong, i do get the feeling of telling the world a passing thought and the urge of wanting to be bold, to be heard. In fact, i got it all the time. Why do you think i have a blog dedicated to solely me and my thoughts in the first place? *wink again.

But then again, it makes me judgmental and cynical. 

More than ever.

Now, let me define judgmental in case the definition is still blurry to you.

adjective

• of or concerning the use of judgement:judgemental decisions about the likelihood of company survival
• having or displaying an overly critical point of view:I don’t like to sound judgemental, but it was a big mistake                                   Oxford Dictionary 
  

There. Some of the synonyms are faultfinding, hypercritical, overcritical, and here's my favourite, rejective.

Whenever I saw something's up that oppose my 'belief' or my 'sense' i become rejective.

Whenever I saw something's up that sounds angry and get me caught in negative vibe i become hypercritical.

Whenever I saw something's up that i found unreasonable i become overcritical.

Whenever I saw something's up that makes generalized complaint in hoping of orang yg berkenaan terasa, i faultfinding. 

The worst or (best) part of it all, I realize all this whatever mili-second of acute reaction towards the posts right before i neutralize back my thoughts is oddly very energy consuming.

It makes me realize too that by judging someone whose judging a situation or someone else's for their actions, doesn't makes me any better or put me any higher either. 

Gauging on how important this particular battle is to me and my view towards others, I decided to learn to become more considerate and tolerable. That you can't expect people to say all the right things especially when they blurt it out under stress. That at times we all need to post an attention-seeking line or two. It is for me not to make any dismissive comment back in my head without knowing the real picture. I know too sometimes people just don't mean what they say or just say it for fun, but maybe we should remember too, that what we do for fun has a direct reflection on who we are.

This is all so very hard to be done, but even our beloved Prophet once said to the people who just got back wounded from winning the greatest war, He said that, that is not the greatest battle, for the greatest battle is inside. 

Called me old fashion or stone-aged, i still believe that there's no better comfort or substitute than having a friend showing up at your door with a big hug, genuinely ask if you're ok. And that there is nothing wrong in actually admitting and asking for help even just to be heard. 

Well, that being said, I prophylacticly apologize if this particular post offended anyone. This really meant for my own reflections and i just hope they're worth sharing.  

Till then!

>.<