Sangat Banyak Cerita Ok.

I don't even know where to begin.

But, bak kata cute colourful poster on my board tepi meja study(hadiah bday from omey), every journey starts with a single step.*motivator tone*. I really hv to start somewhere. Tidak boleh tidak.

So here I am, sitting on my red floor, covered with a comfy purple yoga mat, deciding i should bravely (or finally!) take that first small start. I mean step.

I really envy though, those who can constantly jot down every single detail. Add up a pinch of humor here and there (which might not yet arrive di tempat kejadian) in their blog about their everyday life. What they do in the morning, what food they eat for lunch,what a crap day that day is...owell, u get my point. Consistency is one thing (among so many) that i've been struggling to cope with for the past 23 years. I love to read. Most of you who ever been to my Ikea-showroom-wannbe must have had known that (betui kah grammer?). But the 2nd more important things to do is to be able to write. Wait isn't that what we've been thought since, err.. I dunno, tadika?

The problem is, to take that first FEW small steps is the hardest. No wonder our glucocorticoid level's at peak when we want to geddup from bed every morning. That happens as a response when our body is at stress. Circadian rhythm they call it.The beginning of thing is always hard. And stressful. Some say, it takes 21 days to get on a new habit. 21 days? ? really? then what happen to that 23 years of struggle?!! ok. shouldn't be super-sumptuous. maybe for the past 10 years.

But still, I'm sure (or I hope) I'm not feeling this alone. (nak cari geng)

My college teacher/counselor once told us, that was the inborn trait for excellent students (yes, it's there mapped on your gene n haa! br glabah nk mngaku!). She said that, we all want to be doing things ever so perfectly that we end up doing nothing at all for less. Geddit? Please do.

So there, i pointed out one. That doesn't necessarily implied only to Harvard-graduate-excellency, I think, but to all of us, as well. At least to me. It's human nature to strive to cross that arbitrary line of perfection, but see, it too, can do harms. (i'd love to write a long review on Black Swan touching this perfection business someday*see i'm doing it again!!*T__T).

Whatever the fancy explanation says when you google "how to become a consistent person"

come up, it is all dawn upon us. Yes, YOU.

I sincerely want to do better in this jotting down habit. Maybe nothing much for other's to read. But somehow, this is my own version of buku teks sejarah. My ups and downs. My story.

For you guys who read my random rambling, intentionally or by mere accident, it would means a lot if you guys meninggal kan kesan kat "yoursay box" below. It does makes me wanna write more, if not much, a bit.

So, keep track with me k. We can't waste time simply because we don't own it. It's just something borrowed with a very long interview on how we spend it, at the very end.