something snaps

hi there..it's been a while, again, but hey, no sweat, I'm still around..

Well, well, i remember once i wrote when the semester was about to begin..on the very first day in fact, i jot something. About how happy and excited i was (as so did everyone else ;>) and then i wrote again today, officially the end of (one hell) of a semester.

Haha, yes, super glad that it's over. But can't help it, that little tiny worry that whatever things that you learned along the way is somehow gonna determine what types of doctor you'll become when you hold that responsibility, soon enough. Well, let's not elaborate on that point, shall we?

Alhamdulillah, really, for the strength and the ride belongs to no one but Him. For the chance He bestowed upon His believers who's weak but never tired of searching. I'm grateful to You, for letting me through this far.

I got most of my credit this semester ending with pharmacology oral test this very morning. I woke up early so that i can repeat the stuff over and over until it sticks in this tiny little brain gyri of mine. Of course, i couldn't. At least not all..However surprisingly, I manage to explain quite well in front of the teacher who happen to speak perfect American English, (not to mention the youngest n cutest teacher so far). Lucky for me, he is more interested in the mechanism of the drugs, actions and reactions (rather than bluntly memorizing name) in which I'm really good at. And yes, I think if one thing that gets me through medical school so far is that i understand stuff and can relate and can connect and explain them using my own words (which save me a lot during oral exam). Oh, one thing more i discover about myself here in this very school is that i LOOOve asking weird questions in class and in lecture hall. You know, things that people don't think about and then it suddenly makes them think.

More stuff.

Erm, o ya, I think i love it this semester even more than the previous five. Yeah2 (now that it has come to an end)..lame, i know..But the subject somehow really answering my questions about what's going on in our body and what exactly happen when things go wrong, and you know, stuff like that. Curiosity overly satisfied.. Relax, I'm not gonna bore you with detail, but if you are somewhre studying pathophysiology and pathology in a very strict sterile department, u know what i'm babbling about..

I finish my Basic patient care training today, the end of loooong 9 hour practical in Geriatric Ward c.48.. Taking care of elderly basicly. But since there are more nurses than the patients, we (me n Noor) end up standing along the corridor and eagerly wait to open toilets doors to the nenek2 with tongkat. Not much training i supposed. But everything happens whenever or whichever way it suppose to happen. Trying to dig out the positivity during that long-hour
corridor guarding activity, something snap.

(Dramatics music background)

My CZech sucks. Like terribly horribly baad kind of sucks. You see, if i can at least speaks stuff i can just sit there by the bed talking to the patient and practice that good-bedside manner. But since I can't even make a decent, grammatically correct sentence it left me no choice but stone away. Let alone to understand the word their speaking. Old patient, mostly women, they love to talk, you have no idea. They keep on talking and talking even they know you don't understand a word, in which i think it's a very sweet gesture of them. To try to talk to you and help as much as possible for you to understand and just a simple yes to let you know that you're welcome to do the examination onto them. But that sweet gesture makes me even more guilty for not trying to learn the language properly.

On the way back, i look back those 3 years I've been studying this language. It's strange and foreign to me, but i used to be more interested in trying to at least find new phrases and try it on people, be it on the reception lady (who enjoy teaching us Czech so we can speak to them and that they won't have to struggle so much with high-school english.) But the point is, i start neglecting it. I was so drowned with other subject that i neglect the very basic yet crucial thing that brigde me with the patient. How to learn a good rapport if you can't even speak the language?

For most of us, the language is seized into a minor-not-top-of the least category. Which of course the case that too, happen to me. It is somehow imprinted in the schedule that only study czech for examination. There are people who can speak czech and i used to envy them for their fluency. But no action taken on my behalf. And now it left me again with a disappointment that is actually pretty intense.

Now that i hate that i can't speak Czech, I will do something about it, and its your obligation to do the followup routine to see where i stand.

So, that was it, a brief update in the beginning of the end of a semester. There are more to come which we will meet again. Oh, you will stay, will ya?

Till then~!
>.<